Shattered forever
by M'rika
Summary: Remus' little sister. AU! Sorry for any grammer mistakes. Please R&R. Other half to Blacks at heart by Salrianna
1. Hogwarts

**My Secret Journal **

**4th August**

**Today my parents told me that my (Older) Brother has got a problem. Duh! He was born! NO. He's a werewolf. Like, how dumb do they think I am? I worked that out _AGES_ ago. He's always weirder than normal around full moon. Anyway, TUTHILL TORNADOES RULE! We won! We won! We are now like top of the league. I wish I knew some more witches my age. Starting Hogwarts in September. Bet Mom and Dad expect me to be top of the class. HONESTLY! Just because Moons is. Oh, that's what I'm calling him now. Kind of suits him. Also annoys him! Hee Hee. WHAT!**

**Oh. My darling brother just told me that his friends at school call him Moony. Great! Bet they're the famous Sirius Black and James Potter. Like my brother could be friends with them! OW! Remus STOP hitting me and give me back my journal. **

Actually, **ELECTRA, **my best friends **_are_** Sirius Black and James Potter so there!

**Get out of my room, MOONEY!** ELECTRA! STOP CALLING ME MOONEY! **Stop calling me Electra. But it's your name! Duh! I hate it! Ellie or Elsya is WAY better! Girls! You pancake! You call your best mate Padfoot. How do you know that? Umm… ELLIE! I read your letters? And some of the notes that everyone scribbles on. MOM! MOM! I didn't hit you. Yes you did. No I didn't. Whatever. Oh yeah I meant to ask you. Who's Tonks? Is she your girlfriend? NO! Mooney's blushing. He's gone off in a huff. Good night.**

**4th September**

**Nobody talked to me on the express. Ok Mooney tried but I ignored him. Well Duh! His friend were beghind him sniggering. Ok. Hat time.**

'Hmm. So you're Remus' Sister Are you? Well what about Griffindor?'

**No. Thank you.**

'Ravenclaw's No Good. Well, You'd Better Be **_SLYTHERIN '_**

**The look on Mooney's face. He was completely shocked. You could see him thinking, 'There wasn't a witch or wizard who went in to Slytherin and came out good.' But I mean I'm not going to go bad. I'm me.**

**Everyone went quiet but then the clapping started. Mooney and his mates walked out of the Great Hall. Idiots!**

**Quite a few Slytherins congratulated me on breaking free from Mooney. Whoa! He must have got well up their noses. I don't think I made any friends though.**

**Later**

**Our common room is really cool even though it's by the dungeons. Before I got here, Mooney and his mates cornered me.**

"**How could you do that?" I'd never seen Mooney so angry. I looked at hi m and said, "What? As far as I can remember, you were the ones who walked out. I did as I was told." I pushed past him but one of his friends grabbed my arm. "I'd be careful how you act, ELECTRA. We'd hate to have to treat you like Slytherin." As I walked off all I could hear was the ratty one's laugh.**

**5th September**

**Moons is ignoring me! I scowled at him. First, I've got Care of Magical Creatures. Most of the Slytherin's are really arrogant. It's kind of hard to fit in. I haven't actually got a proper friend yet. This 5th year and 6th year keep stopping people from other houses from talking to me. Servus Snape and Lucius Malfoy they're called. In COMC we did theory. BORING! I want to see the creatures. **

**Potions next. I had to sit next to a Ravenclaw. Her name's Syma. Her name was on her book. She hadn't put her last name. Half way through the lesson I said, "Don't even think about it!" Her hand was hovering over my head, filled with dung bombs. Professor Slughorn sighed and muttered something about her following in her brother's footsteps. I wonder who her brother is. **

**Next it was Charms. That was theory as well so I'm not going to talk about it.**

**At lunch I was feeling really bad about falling out with Mooney. I went looking for him and he was outside, under a tree, by the lake. He was with one of his friends. It was either James or Sirius. I don't really care so I didn't ask. His friend was looking over at some of the girls and showing off playing with a snitch. I went up to Mooney and started saying sorry to him when I notice that his friend was laughing at me. I looked at him. "Honestly," he said, "You get put in Slytherin, you act completely rude towards your brother and you expect him to forgive you." I stared at him coolly, "Yes actually I do. And I don't remember being the little sister of James Potter or Sirius Black."**

**The friend was shocked. I think he expected me to be scared. Yeah, right! He stood up. He's taller than me. "For your information the person you are addressing is James Potter." That means Sirius grabbed my arm last night.**

"**And that bothers me because?"**

**James stalked away then. That was when I went back to being me. A quivering pile of jelly.**

"**Moons. I'm really sorry, but it's not my fault that the hat put me in Slytherin. It could have put me in Hufflepuff. Sorry that I was just really mean to James but he really got up my nose."**

**Moons stood up and pulled me into a hug. EWWW! I wriggled out of it as soon as I decently could.**

"**It's OK, little sister. It's not your fault you were put in Slytherin and James can be really annoying. Oh, and Sirius little sister is called Syma."**

**I backed away from him then. I stared at him in disbelief. The one person who I had thought of as a potential friend was Sirius Black's little sister.**

**I ran to the great hall and got some lunch when guess who should come up to me? Syma Black. "Hi!" she said. I carried on eating and said to her, "Go away. You're Sirius Black's little sister." Without my mouth full obviously. She ran off then, after she'd tried to throw pudding at me. She missed. It hit the boy next to me. Honestly, Ravenclaw's. So emotional. **

**I had the last two lessons off because it was a welcome assembly. SO BORING!**

**5th November**

**Sorry I haven't written. Nothing really happened. I still haven't got a friend. I have got a detention instead. I kind of cursed Sirius accidentally on purpose with a full body bind. Mcgonagall gave me detention. Tonight. Seven o, clock. Great. So Mooney's really mad at me. Loads of Slytherin are really mad at me because they fancy Sirius. I only cursed him 'cos he saying stuff about Slytherin. Oh yeah and he's not _that_ cute. **

**I went to Mcgonagall at the end of the lesson and she told me that I had detention with Syma Black. Which is just perfect as Sirius is her older brother. I asked why Syma had got detention and she'd dropped gibberish potion over Snape. A Slytherin. How could she do that? I've got to go to detention now. It's in Alcre's room. He's the janitor.**

**Later**

**I had to clear out Mooney's 'bad' drawer. I was there first. Syma Black hadn't turned up yet. Ok so she turned up. She started saying stuff about how proud she was of her brother. She had to clean out his drawer. I said, "Oh yeah? And what about this?" I picked up one of the photos, which showed him basically bullying Snape. He'd used Levicorpus. She went quiet then. She started to go out of the classroom. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I'm going to find my brother and ask him about this." In her hand she held the photo. I hadn't have known it was her, I'd have sworn she was trying not to cry.**

**She ran into the Great Hall. I waited outside. She yelled at her brother and I winced. It's not nice to fall out with your brother. I should know. She ran out, breathing heavily. I looked at her. "Are you ok?" I asked, "I mean obviously you're not and I know what its like to fall out with a brother but…""He's not my brother. He's a traitor. I should have listened to mom. (pause/ silence) but thanks anyway." "What did you say to him?" "Didn't you hear?" "Well, I didn't go in because Sirius isn't going to want to see me at this point on time so… no." "Oh… You don't want to know."**

**That was Sirius and James came out.**

"**Look, I know it was wrong but we've done stuff like that before. It's no big deal."**

"**Yes it is." me and Syma snapped. **

**James started, "…" "SHUT UP JAMIE!"**

"**I was only trying to…" "SHUT UP J-POTTER!" is what came out. Sirius and me had said the same thing at the same time only I said potter not Jamie. A historic moment. Sirius and me agreeing on something. **

**Then me and Syma walked off together. YES! I HAVE FINALLY MADE A FRIEND!**

**At about 11 o, clock someone set off load of Dr Filibusters Fireworks. Probably Syma because its bonfire night. **

UKTSAE (Unknown To Syma And Ellie.)

Griffindor common room

Sirius was looking out the window of the window and Remus was reading a really thick book. James and Peter had already disappeared upstairs.

"Mooney."

"Yeah?"

"What would you say if I said really liked your sister.?"

Lupin really listened then. "1. Oookkk. 2. Why? and 3 boy, have you got a problem."

"Why? I don't know. Why have I got a problem?"

"Well, I'm still not talking to her 'cos the body bind thing and 2 she hates your guts."

"Ah."

"Exactly."

**6th November**

**If Syma's ex-brother ever finds this out I'm dead. I told someone that he has a pink teddy bear for a joke and now it's all round Slytherin. I really hope the Blacks NEVER read this journal.**

**Mooney forgave me about the body bind incident. That is really weird. I expected him to at least be mad at me for at least 48 hours! I wonder why he forgave me? It couldn't have anything to do with Sirius or James could it? Nah! They still hate me, which is good because I still hate them.**

**Next e.g. fourth lesson was DATDA.**

**We were doing theory. BORING!**

"**UMMMMM…" said Syma. "What's the matter?" I said. "Well, you see, mybrotherkindsoffanciesyou." I didn't quite catch what she said. I thought she said that her brother likes me but that can't be right. "What?" I said. Syma groaned. "There are 2 ways I could do this. I could either shout it out so loud the whole class hear or I could write it down. "I think you should write it down." I said. So she did.**

**My brother fancies you, she wrote. I stared at her in disbelief. "You are joking." I said. She shook her head, "No. No jokes." "Well he's got a problem then." I looked at her. "I hate him." "Um, so do I but that's not the point." "Yes it is." I said a _bit_ louder than I meant.**

**The teacher, Professor Nightshade, stopped what he was doing and turned around. "Lupin. Detention, 7 o, clock my office." **

**Seven o, clock, detention**

**I turned up at his office. Someone else was already there for detention. Guess who? Sirius Black.**

"**Hi." he said. I ignored him. "Black. You are here for a detention NOT to make new friends." said Professor Nightshade. Sirius gave Nightshade his 'I'm going to make life difficult for you face' behind his back. "Actually, I'm not a new friend, I'm an old enemy." I said. "Well that could make things interesting, couldn't it?" Nightshade said curtly.**

**Sirius stuck his tongue out at me behind Nightshade's back. "Aren't you a bit too old for that?" I said, as we entered the classroom. Nightshade set us to do lines when a dung bomb went off. Nightshade went to sort it out. Black flicked a piece of paper at me. I ignored him. Then he flicked a pencil at me. I whirled round in my seat. "WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, BLACK?" I yelled. "Whoa!" He said, calmly, "Calm down." "I would if you weren't here." "Come on. Surely you can think of something better to say than that." "Black! Just leave me alone!" He chucked his pencil case at me. I caught it and threw it back at him. I am glad to say it hit him.**

"**Hey!" he said. Again, I ignored him. My rule now is to retaliate silently. He grabbed my lines. I kicked him. He threw them in the fire. I bit him. He morphed into a dog. That was supposed to scare me? Then he bit me. He didn't break the skin. Ok, now I have his teeth marks on my hand. I levitated him and told him, very politely, if he didn't morph back I would throw him out the window. Ok, bang goes my rule! He gave me puppy dog eyes (in dog form). I opened the window. He morphed back. He fell on the floor. "Thank-you," I said. VERY SARCASTICALLY. I sat down and started my lines. ALL OVER AGAIN! He closed the window. And locked it. I carried on with my lines. He kissed me! I slapped him. " What makes you think I'd like an opionated, bossy, mean bully?" The bell went and I stalked out.**

**7th November**

**I couldn't face Syma today.**

**8th November**

**I told Syma what happened in detention. She was so totally freaked out. I kind of managed to avoid _HIM_ today. She asked me what I was going to do. "Carry on as normal, I guess." I shrugged. She was really shocked. That was when _HE_ walked in. N.B. Syma + Sirius had made up by now but he still hadn't said sorry to Snape. _HE_ went red and walked out of the room. I just ignored _HIM_. Hey, its what I normally do. Then Moons walked in. He said hi and also walked out. That was weird. You don't think… no he couldn't have…could he? Syma asked me, "Is this anything to do with you?" "Hey! I didn't do anything." "What? Apart from got kissed by my big brother,." "That was NOT my fault!"**

**Then James walked in. " Ok and You blew it." I raised my eyebrows at him. Oh, I get it. They were all listening. Haven't they heard of privacy? James walked out. We followed. Syma opened the door. The door gave a doglike yelp. "Sirius." I stated. The door said "Um". "Very good use of vocabulary." I commented. The door said "um". James then said, "we were doing homework?" "Idiots," I said. "Hey!" said Moons. "Hey!" yelled James. The door said "um". I turned to Syma. "What did I say?" "Something about us being idiots?" James offered hopefully. "And we were talking to you?" me and Syma said at the same time. Syma added jinx. "Don't try to be smart James. It doesn't suit you." I said. Sirius slammed the door. It hit Syma, her being in the way and all.**

"**Well, if you will talk about us you've _Got_ to expect us to eavesdrop." he said.**

"**Well maybe if you want people to like you, you shouldn't." I said acidly. Sirius shrugged.**

**Lunch**

**That was when the howlers came. I must admit I DID NOT feel sorry for HIM. It was his fault in the first place. **

**_WE ARE SHOCKED AT YOUR BEHAVIOUR, ELECTRA LUPIN! YOU SHOULD CONCENTRATE ON YOUR SCHOOL WORK NOT BOYS! PROFESSOR NIGHTSHADE TOLD US WHAT HAPPENED! _**Yours sincerely mom and dad.

**I immediately went red while the WHOLE of Slytherin laughed at me. I mean, it wasn't even my fault.**

**Then Sirius got a howler. I must be going telepathic. I knew what it was going to shout about.**

_**SIRIUS BLACK! HOW DARE YOU BRING MORE SHAME INTO OUR FAMILY! YOU KISSED A MUDBLOOD! ELECTRA LUPIN, HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO EVEN KISS HIS FEET, BLOOD TRAITOR THOUGH HE IS! IF YOU EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN I WILL PERSONALLY CURSE YOU WITH A LONG-LASTING CURSE!**_

**I thought my howler was bad enough! There was complete silence before the entire school erupted. I got slapped in the face a couple of times as well, by girls who really liked HIM. I tried to tell them that they could have him, but they weren't listening. Apparently, He HADN'T told his friends because Mooney and James looked absolutely shocked. I am EXTREMELY glad the teachers weren't there. Loads of girls from every house (especially Slytherin) were yelling at me. Most boys were laughing at me. I wanted to die. About 5-1o minutes later, someone tapped my arm. I whirled round. One of the Marauders had fought their way over to me. Guess which one? **

"**I'm sorry. My parents are evil. I expected more than…" That was when HE was cut off. His face contorted and then he was gone. **

**9th November**

**(written from Sirius' mother's point of view.)**

**That brat of mine went and APOLOGIZED to the mudblood. **

"**SIRIUS BLACK!" I screeched. He should have got here by now. Oh, yes. Here he is**

**2 hours later**

**Why couldn't' I just have had Regulas? Sirius is so… I'll let you fill in the blank. I think he wants to die at the moment. GOOD! It will serve him right.**

**9th November**

**Oh, man! It's Sirius' birthday and he's not here. I can't help worrying about him. Whoa! Back up just 1 minute. Did I say I was worried about the idiot? Ok, I suppose I did. So what does that mean? That I like him? No. I hate him… kind of… possibly not… ok, ok. I admit it. Yes, I like Sirius Black. But as a friend! Not as a … I can't even say the word. 'Gulps' boyfriend.**


	2. Christmas

A/N: Hi. I forgot to say this makes more sense if you also read Blacks at heart by Salrianna.. http/ wrote them at the same time, together. So you know.

**Syma dumped her pudding on Malfoy's head. Why? Because he said Sirius would be dead by now. I told her she shouldn't have done it. I mean, he is Slytherin after all. To which she retorted that Sirius would already be dead.**

**Remus has been unusually quiet lately. Although now I think about I have been too. Syma feels sorry for James. Says its because he just lost his best friends. Its true that there haven't been as many pranks lately. We still haven't told James that Syma doesn't think he's coming back.**

**Ok… I admit it. I'd give ANYTHING to get Sirius back. As a friend. Obviously. **

**16th November**

**HE CAME BACK! He appeared at lunch at the top of the Slytherin table. Does that mean he's given up being Griffindor? No, I don't even he'd do that. He appeared with his feet in Malfoy's trifle. I think I was hyperventilating at this point. Ok he climbed out of Malfoy's trifle. He started to walk to Griffindor shaking off custard. That was when I did something rash. I ran over and hugged the idiot. What made it even weirder was, he hugged back. **

**Practically all the girls went silent. Then Moon, James and Syma reached us. Lily Evans (I think) started clapping. I let go of Sirius feeling very confused. He looked as though he was going to say something but then Moons and James grabbed him. Syma too. When she let go of him Moons and James put Sirius on their shoulders and carried him back to the Griffindor table. Syma looked at me knowingly. I shrugged and feeling confused and snubbed I walked back to my lunch. **

**17th November**

**Today was interesting. Something VERY weird happened. Sirius stopped me after charms. I actually talked to him without getting annoyed. What's extremely weird is what we talked about. "Um…" he said. "Very good use of vocabulary." I replied. "Hey! I'm not a door!" I smiled. He started to talk again. "Well…um…I was kind of wondering… if um…you'd like to…er… go out with me?" I laughed. "Does that mean yes?" he asked hopefully. "Of course."**

**I can't believe I said it. I said yes to Sirius Black. **

**OH MY GOSH! Like HOW many girls are going to hate me? OH MY GOSH! What's Syma going to say?**

**2 hours later**

**Ok. I told her. She laughed! Typical her! So now I'm not talking to her.**

**3oth November**

**We've been 'going out' for 13 days and already Sirius is really, really annoying me. He ignores me in front of his classmates because I'm 1st year. He hardly ever listens to me, he's more interested in ramming his tongue down my throat. Basically, I'm thinking of dumping him. He has 2 days to improve. Two days. That's it! I've tried to tell him but like I said he doesn't listen to me. Not my fault. There's a Christmas dance this year. That's weird. I wonder who I'll be going with.**

**1st December**

**Ok… Syma's gone a bit loopy. I'm not sure whether its 'cos of me +Sirius or James asking her to go to the ball. Personally I think he only asked her because Lily said no. She's going with Amos Diggory. **

**No-one has asked me yet. Do I care? No. Sirius is kind of improving but I'm still thinking of dumping him unless he dumps me first. Obviously.**

**Later**

**Ok. Me and Sirius had a HUGE argument. I'm not going to say what we argued about but lets just say I don't think we're going out anymore. I went and sat by the lake. I wonder if someone will ask me to the ball?**

**5 mins later**

**Loads of girls are flirting with him already. Do I care? No. I should never have gone out with him in the first place. Ok. He keeps looking over at me. I'm trying to beam a telepathic message to him. 'It is over. Leave me alone. I am studying.' I wonder if he got it.**

**20th December **

**I can't believe it! I'm such an idiot. Why oh why did I yes? Ok I was blackmailed but that's not the point. I am going to the ball with Lucius Malfoy. Ok no-one else has asked me but … Syma's going with Potter. She said that it was just because they were going to poison Nightshade's pumpkin juice but I'm like _yeah. _Whatever! I wonder if Sirius knows? I haven't seen him for AGES. Not that I'm bothered. **

**25th December**

**I feel like I'm going to be sick. My dress is cool but person I'm going with isn't. You see, the dress I'm wearing, you have to wear trousers underneath. Yes! It is also red. Syma is annoyed. Her dress is a dress. **

**We had to OPEN THE DANCE! Pass the sick bucket! I was like eww! Eww! Other people PLEASE start dancing so I can escape… HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! If I was in a musical I would be singing 'I need a hero.' I seriously need someone to rescue me! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! **

**He was GOING TO KISS ME! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! Then somebody hit him. I couldn't see who it was. "SIRIUS BLACK!" Ok. I know who it is now. He started to walk to one of the offices. Syma ran after him. So did I. Ok. So he was following Nightshade, Malfoy and Mcgonagall and me and Syma followed at a distance. We hid behind the statue of the witch with a hump.**

**Syma used a listening charm. She told me what was happening. Uh-oh.**


	3. Sirius

**Malfoy was speaking. "I think we should check the room for listening charms. Syma looked at me. She was about to pull the plug on the charm when McGonagall said, "Don't be silly. Who would be listening? Mr Malfoy. I would like to hear what you have to say." **

**He began telling this story about how all he'd done was to come to the ball with his girlfriend. (If I hadn't have been hiding I would have gone and slapped him!) That we'd been going out since school started. He said how he'd been dancing with me when Sirius came up and punched him. He was weaving lies into ll of this. How I hated Sirius, how Sirius had been stalking me, how I'd asked Malfoy to protect me. "And your story Mr Black?" Sirius basically muttered that he'd punched Malfoy. I was like, Sirius, stand up for yourself. You KNOW what happened.**

"**well Mr Black. It seems that indeed you deserve punishment." McGonagall started talking to Nightshade. "Well? What do you think?" I didn't hear his answer. Mainly because the rage that had been building inside me burst. I stood up. Syma tried to stop me but I brushed her off. I took hold of the handle and pushed the door open. Everybody stared at me. Apart from Sirius. "Professor McGonagall. I am NOT Malfoy's girlfriend, I DO NOT hate Sirius, he WAS NOT stalking me and I DID NOT say ANYTHING about protecting me. In fact, I only came to the ball with Malfoy because he blackmailed me" I turned and glowered at him. **

**That was when my confidence fled. I coughed and looked at the floor. Syma burst in. Ok… she made Malfoy cry. Sirius looked (wait for the long word) bemused.**

"**Well, well,. Miss Lupin and Miss Black. How kind of you to join us." I wondered how much trouble we were in. Actually…don't answer that.**

"**Well," Nightshade began. I gulped. "I see we have the people to punish. Mr Black for violence and Miss Lupin and Miss Black for interrupting a private punishment discussion.**

"**What about Malfoy?" I said, "HE lied." **

"**Mr Malfoy is a 6th year AND a prefect. You are a first year and it would serve you well to remember that!" **

**After LOADS of extremely tedious talking, Malfoy smirking at us and Sirius not looking at me, they decided what would happen. Nightshade said, "You will each be cleaning out the potions room without magic. I imagine it will take at least a month."**

**Syma said, "But that sounds like you planned it all."**

**She said this at the same time as I said, "Together or separately sir. I mean, there's only one potions room."**

"**As you were polite, Electra Lupin, I will answer your question first."**

**I winced as he said my full name.**

"**Together but if you play up then apart." He didn't answer Syma and left. **

**Boxing Day**

**I wonder if I can get transferred into another house? I am _SO_ not Slytherin material. **

**Detention**

**Well that was good. NOT! Nothing really happened but I am SO sure Sirius is ignoring me. I really need to say thanks for saving me from Malfoy. I forgot today. I'll do it tomorrow at lunch.**

**27th December**

**Lunch**

**At lunch I went to find Sirius. He was in the great hall. Great! I have to say thanks in front of the whole school. Eventually, amongst jeers, I reached him. He didn't look up. 'Oh blow it!' I thought. 'he can ignore me.' "I just wanted to say…um… thanks for punching Malfoy. You really did me a favour." He didn't say anything. So I started walk back down the hall. He said "Um."**

**I thought' very good use of vocabulary' but I carried on walking.**

"**Um.. Ellie! Wait up!"**

**I turned and he was running to catch up. This is weird. Oh yeah. Everybody had stopped easting and were watching. When he caught up he hinted that we should go somewhere else. I said, "_Very _good idea." So we went out to the lake. Remember, this is December. So no-one was out there.**

"**Thanks. Sorry about the potions thing. And ignoring you."**

**I shrugged, "I didn't have to come and stand up for you but the ignoring thing was kind of annoying."**

**He bent to kiss me but I stopped him. "Sirius. Can we just take it slow? I need to work out my feelings first. Ok?"**

**28th November**

**Oh my gosh! I'm top of my classes. Nightshade told me. That's the Lupin coming out in me. I was talking to Moons about changing houses. He said if I was really unhappy then I should ask. My only friend is Syma! I'm not unhappy but…**

**Later**

**I have new friends! Hufflepuff + Griffindors. Helen, (H), Lucy, (H), Clarissia, (G), and Lavinia, (G). All of them have crushes on Sirius. I'm like the only the girl he's EVER asked out and I don't know whether I'm going to say yes. Anyway, all of them are brilliant at hair and makeup. I normally just have a ponytail and no makeup. I let them work on me. I look about _Fifteen._ They put my hair into lots of tiny plaits with strands of purple and silver.**

**Even Later**

**Ok… I have been asked out 3 times. Has the school gone mad? I don't know how I feel about Sirius never mind, Tom Hurst, James Hayward and Ashley Davies!**

**Later Still**

**Ok. I know what I've got to tell Sirius. As soon as I can get rid of all these boys.**

**29th December**

**I saw Sirius at lunch. Outside. He'd had COMC. I smiled and walked over towards the lake. He followed me. When I was sure James, Peter and Moons had gone I took his hands. They were so big compared to mine. "Sirius. I really like you." His face lit up. It broke my heart to tell him. I could feel the tears threatening. "but I could never go out with you." He dropped my hands, looking hurt, confused, betrayed, and bewildered. I turned and ran back towards the castle, the tears rolling down my cheeks. **

**Detention**

**Syma is not talking to me. Probably cos of the Sirius thing. She also kind of hit him with the door. No prizes for guessing what he said. You got it. "Um". We are STILL cleaning the potions room. I am cleaning the walls. Perfect! You know, I've just figured out why I went out with Sirius in the first place. I was just pleased to have him back. I wanted him as a friend. _Well done Ellie! _The one person who I thought would be a cool friend is not talking to me.**

**30th December**

**Cedric Smith asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. Helen, Lucy etc think I'm mad for turning Sirius down. I think I'm the only girl in Slytherin who doesn't fancy him. Guess what? I said yes to Cedric. Ok so next weekend we're going to Hogsmeade together. I'm not even going to confide in you, dear non-existent thing, why I said no to Sirius. You'll just have to figure out the real reason why I turned him down. Syma, James, Moons and Sirius set loads of dung bombs off on Slytherins. I am annoyed. My dear bro is not speaking to me because of the Sirius thing. When will boys learn? **

**31st December**

**Detention is really bugging me. The two Blacks are ignoring me. At least we're nearly finished! Thank goodness. According to Clarissia there's been loads of rumours spreading about me. At the moment, I don't care! **

**1st of January**

**My resolutions.**

**1. Ignore the blacks.**

**2. Ignore my brother.**

**3. Ignore James Potter.**

**4. Ignore Peter Pettigrew.**

**5. Stay friends with Helen, Lucy etc.**

**6. Avoid the blacks.**

**7. Go out with out with Cedric.**

**8. Do not turn into a Slytherin.**

**9. Do not turn into a Griffindor**

**10. Keep writing this journal.**

**2nd January**

**Its my birthday! The only people in the entire school who know are Moons and me. And he's not talking to me. This could be the most non-eventful birthday EVER as M+D don't have an owl. Hopefully Moons WON'T tell the marauders. This is SO totally cool! I hate being centre of attention. Well, at least on my birthday I do!**

IGA

Transfiguration classroom before classes

Remus was sitting on a chair staring at a present in front of him. The one James and Sirius had been teasing him about since he woke up. He hadn't told them who it was for. He wasn't sure he was going to give it. "Mooney's got a girlfriend." sang James and Sirius. This was worrying. They weren't getting a reaction. This was getting boring. Finally, Sirius grabbed the gift and started shaking it, trying to find out what it was. "Hey," cried Lupin. "If you tell us who it's for and why I'll give it you back." Sirius teased. "You don't want to know." "Yes we do," Syma, James, Sirius, and Peter all said at the same time. "Trust me. You don't." Lupin said wearily trying to grab it. "Uh-huh" Uh-uh" "Uh-huh" This went on for another ten minutes. "SHUT UP!" yelled Lupin. "IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW ITS FOR ELLIE. ITS HER BIRTHDAY!" And with that he threw the present out of the window. A couple of seconds later they heard the crash.


	4. Full Moon

**3rd January (Saturday) **

**ITS SNOWING! Wahoo! I would be taking part in the snowball fight with Syma but she's STILL not talking to me. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not in the mood. I'm going to Hogsmeade with Cedric today. I've never actually been to Hogsmeade. Everyone, ok Mooney said, it's really good! That was when he was still talking to me obviously. Helen, Lucy, Clarissia and Lavinia all have dates for today but Clarissia and Helen are staying here. Ben Peters asked Helen out and she said yes. Clarissia's going out with his brother. Lucy and Lavinia haven't said who their going out with. Fingers crossed, its not Slytherins. **

**Later**

**Today was cool. Cedric took me to the Hogshead. It was really crowded but I didn't see Syma or the Marauders. YES! Result! We left and parted ways. I went down to the shrieking shack. It's supposed to be the most haunted place in Britain. COOL! **

**Even Later**

**Ok. I just saw Syma sneaking outside. I quickly followed her. What did you expect? I'm related to a Marauder. I caught up with her by the womping willow. "What are you doing?" Please remember this was like midnight so I was COLD. And there was A LOT of ice. The full moon shone down on us. "What does it look like I'm doing?" was the curt reply. "Well, it looks like you're sneaking out of the castle but you wouldn't be doing that, would you?" I said VERY sarcastically. She began to walk towards the willow. I followed her. "I know what you're thinking. Why can't Ellie take a hint? Well, I'm not leaving till you tell me what you're doing." "None of your business L- No I'm ashamed to call you Lupin." "You know who you sound like don't you?" "Who do I sound like?" "Your mother." She looked at me. I didn't quite understand her expression. "Never, in your insignificant little life, call me or my brother that again… Mudblood." I looked at her. "See." For a minute I thought she was going to hit me. But she didn't. "What did I ever do you Syma Black? I wouldn't go out with your brother. Big deal. I have my reasons. It would be like you going out with Snape." Ok she disappeared. Oh, she fell down a hole. Oh, she fell down a hole on purpose. The willow was frozen. I jumped after her.**

**Ah. Slight problem. I couldn't see her. Then I heard the howling. Something clicked in my brain. My brother. Full moon. Help?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ok. It's quite weird how funny (to me anyway) Ellie and Syma can be when they're about to die. **

**IGA**

**Griffindor Common Room. (R. Lupin's point of view.)**

**BANG! BANG! Ow! Um. "Hey!" "Oops." This is SO typical of the Griffindor common room. On a full moon. N.B NEVER! Lend Sirius my homework. "I think I should be going." "True. Prongs has already gone," Sirius replied. I wish I wasn't a werewolf. Even though now I have friends who understand and if they're there when I transform, they can transform too! I stood up and went over to the portrait. "See you." I said. **

**(Ellie's point of view.)**

**I'm starting to think Syma's more like her brother than she knows. They always get the Lupin's into trouble! Anyway, the howling still continued. It sounded as though it was outside. That's why I ran further into the shack. Syma was right behind me. I know because she kept pushing me! We opened a door and slammed it shut. We turned around. I think we just found out where the howling was coming from. Sirius was there. In dog from obviously. He barked something I don't think he'd want us to hear. **

**Moons/the werewolf turned round sssslllloooowwwwllllyyyy. I think I might have screamed, but you know, you kind of lose your memory in times of crisis. I think what was going through my brain was, 'I'm your sister. Don't bite me. Bite Syma instead!' I know it was mean but I was panicking. Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen till at least 2nd year. At least I think it does. I mean, who else has a brother who's a werewolf. AND gets trapped in a room with them. I mean, who wants to be trapped with their brother anyway, but when they've transformed it's even worse!**

**BANG! I'm dead. I'm dead. I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdeadI'm deadI'm not dead. Ok. THANK YOU PADFOOT! Wow. Never thought I'd say that again. I didn't actually yell that out loud, thing is, Syma did. If there was ever time to kill someone it would be now. Problem is, that's what Moons thinks as well.**

**Ok Prongs transmogrified (cool word I know) back to a human, shouted run, then turned back again. If I was feeling in the mood I would have told him that a) werewolves are A LOT quicker than humans and b) he looked better as a stag. But as I said I wasn't in the mood. I was more in the mood for running for my life. Ok half way up the tunnel Syma stopped and I banged into her. I was kind of worried about SIRIUS and Moons. I said Back at the same time as she said to the castle. We kind of glared at each other. She said, "One, I don't think any of them want us particularly killed, two, if we go back there then all we'll do is get killed and three how long have they been hanging around with a werewolf to know what to do?"**

**I stared at her. "You mean you don't know?" "Oh for goodness sake tell me later. We are being chased by a werewolf!" I suddenly realised I could hear the howling again. "The werewolf is my brother! He got bitten when he was little!" I was so mad with her I could have torn her hair out. Only that would be kind of hard as tears were blurring my vision. I sank to the floor. "This wasn't supposed to happen." I whispered. "Get up!" she yelled at me. "This wasn't supposed to happen." "But it won't do the situation ANY good if we both get killed." Syma, for once in her life was being deadly serious. "Well, then you go. I don't care anymore." **

"**WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" this was James. "She won't get up." that was Syma. "Well she's going to now." That was Sirius. Oh no. Please no. NO! Did he have to pick me up? OW! He dropped me! Ok I understand he was stopping me and Syma being eaten by my brother. Thump! That was my brother hitting the door. "Syma, go and get Professor Dumbledore." Sirius panted. "Go!" he yelled, it was more of an order now. She ran off and we followed. As we got there Professor Dumbledore stepped out. **

"**Syma Black? May I ask what on earth is going on?" **

"**Professor," she said. "Lupin, as a werewolf, he's loose in the grounds!" **

**Professor Dumbledore seemed to think through this for a moment until finally he began to walk down the steps. "Who else was with you?" he asked as we walked down to the hall. **

"**Sirius, James and Ellie, something's happened to her but I don't know what." I knew exactly what was wrong with me. Something had been wrong with me since I was five. **

"**What about Peter?" **

**Syma stopped "I don't know, he wasn't with them." **

**He decided not to press the matter and soon we were at the hall. He seemed to take in everything at once.**

"**Right." He said "Everyone to bed! As mister black seems in capable mister potter could you please escort Miss Lupin to the hospital ward where I am sure madam Pomfrey will sort her out. Now I want none of this mentioned to anyone, I will sort it out, apart from that I want you to act like none of this ever happened."**

**Then I started to the hospital wing.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok if you don't like this chapter I'm very sorry. I think it's cool,. But then I'm biased I thought of half of it.**

**At the hospital wing**

"**What wrong Miss Lupin?" Madame Pomfrey asked. "Everything with my stupid life." Ok, I know that sounds stupid but it's true. I have a problem, I really like a boy who I've hurt and loads of other millions things floating in my brain. Prongs started to walk away. "Mr Potter." He turned around. "Perhaps you can tell me." "Umm… she just got chased, and nearly eaten, by a werewolf who happens to be her brother?" Boys. Think they know everything. "It's not that. I can't tell you." Madame Pomfrey tutted. "Well Mr Potter. You stay here while I sort something out." With that she turned and walked out of the wing. James looked positively petrified. Can't say I blame him.**

"**Erm… Are you ok? I mean obviously you're not but you know…" he trailed off. "No I'm not ok. I can't tell you. Even Moons doesn't know." Some people DO know but I wasn't going to tell him that. "Huh!" James mutered. "How nice you are." That really riled me. "well yeah sure you'd want your brother (even though you don't have one.) to know that you're evil. Oops." James backed off, then started to laugh! "You…evil. Very funny!" (by now he was having hysterics.) "Knew I shouldn't have said that." the first time I tell someone who didn't have to know and they laugh at me! He was still having hysterics. " Course not. I mean how stupid do you think I am?" "I think you're incredibly stupid, but you can go now. If I ever do something to you don't say I didn't warn you." James stopped laughing. "You're not saying you're serious?" "At last he catches on." well, I already told him part of it. He might as well know the whole story. It looked as though he believed me. "So why are you evil?" "A snake bit me." "A snake bit you?" "yes. A snake bit me. I don't need a parrot prongs!" "But how does that make you evil?" "Something dark, I don't know what, was controlling it. I got in the way so it bit me. It passed on evil instead of poison." "But how do you know you're evil?" I thought I heard a creak but I couldn't see anything by the door. I looked at my hands and stayed looking at them. "I…I…I killed someone. Malfoy's cousin. We lived near his cousin's house. I was playing near there. The next thing I knew I was in the house and the cousin was crushed under a bookcase. Then a boy, malfoy, came and started yelling at me. He threatened me. I promised I'd do anything. I was scared. I was six. I can't remember what he said. It was something like stealing for him. I did other stuff as well, when I 'went evil.' Stuff I'd rather forget. But he carried on blackmailing me. Then we moved. Then he realised I was here, in his house. I knew I'd be in Slytherin. I knew I'd never be good enough for any other house." Tears were threatening. They tipped over. I swallowed and carried on talking. I couldn't look at him. What kind of monster would he think I was now. "He made me… he made me… he made me spy on you guys. I didn't tell him everything, I promise. Except when I couldn't help it. I had other friends in Griffindor and they told me what you were doing when I wasn't speaking to you. I'm really sorry." the tears were falling fast. "I wouldn't go out with Sirius in case something happened to him. In case I did it." There was a sharp intake of breath. I looked up. James was there. He looked like he was going to be sick. He was staring behind me. I turned. I dreaded what I would see. It was Sirius and Syma. I was right to dread it. "You…" Sirius began. "Look mate, she was only doing it for you." That was James but I butted in. "Actually you weren't supposed to hear that AND you're not even supposed to be here." "HUH! We've just saved your life and you tell US we're not supposed to be here." "Actually I am." "Little." Sirius started. We all turned to him waiting for him to finish. "Bitch." he carried on. He wasn't finished but I stopped him. "What did you call me?" I said icily. **

"**Do you want me to repeat it?" Sirius asked, his words coated with sarcasm.**

"**You can talk, Black." I whispered**

"**Shut up!" Sirius almost yelled.**

"**What's going on in there?" Madame Pomfrey called.**

"**Move!" Syma whispered. Well I wasn't going to move I was in the right place! Syma and Sirius went back under the invisibility cloak. **

**4th January**

In Divination

"Don't choke Prongs." James was coughing violently and Sirius was whacking him on the back. It was probably making it worse. "Professor Trelawney, duck!" That was said as a kind of half whisper "by Wormtail. Everybody stared at him as he disappeared under the table. Remus shook his head. Professor Trelawney glided over and picked up Sirius' cup. "Oh no, not again." Sirius groaned. "Oh my dear boy. This is not good. Not good at all. I see a window. I see a fall. I see death." "Yes professor. And what will I land on this time? A mutant hedgehog?" The class erupted into laughter. "Tuh." and with that she glided off. Remus shook his head, again. James grabbed Sirius' cup. He frowned at it. "Or you could be having turkey for lunch." "Hey." Remus said, "Give it here." He consulted his, very thick, book. "Actually, I reckon you're going to turn your cousin's hair pink today." Sirius pushed it towards Wormtail. Wormtail looked scared. "Umm… This is too complicated for me." He pushed it towards Sirius. "Well, I think it looks like a lot of brown mush." Wormtail stated. "That's because it IS a load of brown mush, Wormtail." Sirius replied. BRING! The bell went. "Hand in your homework as you exit." "Oops." Sirius said. "Don't tell me, Padfoot. You've forgotten to do it. Again!" "Um… yeah." Everybody had gone apart from Sirius and Professor Trelawney. She was not impressed. "Um… Professor Trelawney?" "Don't tell me. You've forgotten again." "WOW! How did you know?" "My dear boy it's the 5th time in 2 weeks. Hand it in tomorrow" "Ok." Professor Trelawney left. Sirius hung around collecting his stuff. He walked over to the window.


	7. Chapter 7

**(Ellie's point of view.)**

**Oh dear. I can't remember anything since I left History of Magic. I really hope I didn't do something evil. Ah. Sirius is hanging on to a ledge underneath the Divination classroom window. Judging from his expression, I _might_ have pushed him. "You just pushed me out of the window." Ok, I had pushed him out the window. "I could just leave you there." "Fine." "Ok then." "all right then." "Perfect." "Do that." "I will." "Good." I turned to leave. "But you can't just leave me here." "You wanna' bet." "Ok, you could technically leave me here, but I'd rather you didn't!" I turned, walked over to the window and looked out at him. "You going to have to trust me." "BUT YOU JUST PUSHED ME OUT OF A WINDOW!" By now people were staring. I knew I had to think fast. 'cos like a teacher would be coming soon. "Um… Sirius. A teacher's going to be here in a minute." "Whatever you do. The teacher does not go out the window." Now that annoyed me. I wasn't in infants! "Well, there is a really easy way to get down." "I know, I know. I let go…" "You fall 100ft…" "And I go splat." "Yeah, basically." "Er… what's plan B?" I grinned. "You trust me." "and what exactly did you have in mind?" "Um…" "WAND. GRAB. NOW." I grabbed my wand. "I got you that far. NOW what are you going to do?" It's not my fault what happened next. I just said the first thing that came into my head. "Accio Sirius." He came flying in, whacking his head off the window. McGonagall and Nightshade came. "Mr Black. Are you alright?" "I am now." he said, then collapsed. Blast! Now who's going to help me talk my way out of this? James came running in. "Sirius! Someone has fallen out of the window. Ah…" "Renverate." McGonagall pointed her wand at Sirius. Sirius opened his eyes. I backed off, kind of edging towards the door. You know, Sirius is like twice my size and could probably kill me. "What happened? Mr Black answer me!" "I tripped over some books on the floor and Ellie was trying to help. Soz Professor." After checking that Sirius was alright the teachers left. I tried to go with them. "Ellie. Stop." I stopped and turned around. Great. Two Marauders, one of them ready to kill me. And may I just mention that these two were the ones I disliked the most. "What on earth…" "Shut up Prongs. You don't know what you're on about." I was hoping that they'd argue so I could slip away. I tried. Didn't work. "Like I said, Ellie. STOP." I stopped. "This had better be good Sirius, mate. I'm missing lunch here." James said. I rolled my eyes. Typical boy. Only thinking bout his stomach at time like this. A time like what? A time when Sirius is going to kill me. "Well…" "Uh-uh." "Well are you going to give me an explanation WHY you pushed me out the window?" "Um…no?" Sirius looked positively murderous. "She pushed you out of a window?" "Yes Prongs, she pushed me out of a window." "Like to kill you?" "I don't know Prongs. That's what I'm asking her." He turned back to me. Blast. I was almost out the door as well. Sirius locked the door. With magic obviously. "Will you take a seat?" "Um." "Very good use of vocabulary." "Hey! That's my line!" This was way weird. Sirius Black acting the perfect gentlemen. This was scarier than… I don't know. Something scary. "As I said, will you sit down?" It was more like an order than a question. I sat down on one of the stools. It hit me that this was like a movie. And don't the people who sit down in gangster movies get shot? "Well…" Sirius said icily (but politely, duh.) "Well what?" "Well what what?" That was James. I stared at him. "Get out James." Sirius glared. "You locked the door. I can't!" Sirius unlocked the door. I would have made a run for it but both of them were in the way. "You can now." James walked out. Boy, was he in a sulk. "Talk. In a minute the teachers will come up asking what we're doing. And they will ask more questions than I can make up answers for. Talk, NOW." Now at this point in time, I really don't care what happens. "Ok. My name is Ellie Lupin. I'm 12 years old. My brother's name is Remus Lupin and he's a…" Professor Trelawney burst in. "Mr Black and Miss Lupin. What on earth are you doing?" "Her name is Ellie Lupin. She's 12 years old. Her brother's name is Remus Lupin and he's a…" No Sirius don't say it. PLEASE! "Well she was going to tell me what he was when you came in." I think Sirius is enjoying this. So we got detention.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Detention**

**Great! ANOTHER detention. ANOTHER detention with Sirius Black. I'd rather not remember last time. Cleaning the teacups in Professor Trelawney's classroom. Great. "Tell me." I ignored him. "NOW!" I still ignored him. " . Ellie. You annoying little . _NOW!" _"How about no." "You know. Technically I could blackmail you here. And I am that cruel." "You could." "I could." "Hopefully you're not going to but you could." "Yes I could, but I'm not going to. But I can also do this." He kissed me. I pushed him away. "Sirius. When will you learn I don't want to hurt you!" "Then don't reject me!" "Sirius, look. You almost got killed today. That was me. You saw. You saw me push you. Yes, I couldn't help it but that's why this has got to stop! I hurt people I'm near. People I like, people I love. That's why you ended out the window." "I don't care Ellie, yeah sure, this is the kind of moment in movies where people will be going Ahh, and thinking we're so soppy but I really don't care, kill me if you really have to." "You stupid, stupid boy!" What else could I do? I kissed him. And he kissed me back. **

**5th January**

"**James…can't…breathe…get…off…me!" I gasped. "James, stop strangling Ellie." He yawned, sounding as bored as Syma looked. "Same here." Syma muttered. "Guys, I'm being serious." James said. "She killed my girlfriend!" Lily's dead? That's can't be right. "But that's no reason to strangle mine!" Sirius said, looking annoyed. James looked shocked and dropped me "Ow!" "You didn't need to drop her either." He muttered.**

"**Hang on," Syma said. "What did Ellie do to lily 'cos from I what I've heard so far Ellie's not capable of doing anything to Lily. Second yesterday, you two where like chalk and cheese, what miracle happened over night?"**

**I ignored her last question and yelled. "I didn't do ANYTHING to lily!" Everyone looked at me accusingly. "I didn't, anyway who were you talking to Syma?" **

"**Bout what?" she asked, confused.**

"**The _"She's not you're girlfriend"_ thing." **

"**Oh, that thing, um, no one in particular." **

"**Whatever." "Straight back," I muttered "Anyway, you're just changing the subject." **

"**I'm going to get something to eat. And maybe it will give me a chance to find out what's really going on." James said and walked out.**


End file.
